The finalist of the U.S. Open, Jelena Jankovich, ending up in 2nd place and getting $500,000 in prize money was infected with failure.

This was comment from the commentator about her game in 2006 when she lost over 30 games in row.

He said it was as though she was infected with failure and even considered quitting the sport.

But this girl is a fighter and a competitor which ultimately makes her a winner.

In the last two years she’s played more games than anyone else in the world, 167 I believe (I could be wrong but it’s around that number).

Working her way up from the bottom of the barrel to #2 spot in the world.  At only 23 years of age, she’s already got over $5,000,000 in prize money, not counting her endorsements.

Jelena Jankovich at U.S. Open

So what’s the lesson here?

It’s a all about being mentally tough.

It is unfortunate but in our society defeat is treated like failure.  Failure is such a negative word, it sounds like it’s permanent.

You know when you don’t pass an exam in school, what do you get an F, which means you’ve failed.

And so from the very early childhood and all through our school years we’re taught that failure is bad.

I know this is somewhat elementary, and I know that you know that failure is just a stepping stone.  But that’s not the issue.  The issue is that most people may on a logical level understand this, but on the emotional level, unconsciously they label themselves as failures.

You see all this programming that we’ve received from school about how bad this F is, is deep within our unconsciousness.   And even when you begin to understand that failure is just a stepping stone, that setbacks are necessary and simply require you to correct your course, BUT on the subconscious level (which by the way dictates what you really think, feel, and how you act) you’re still a failure.

Now how do I know that?

Well I’ve seen hundreds of people who come into sales and marketing from the “9-5” jobs where there isn’t much exposure to failure, and as soon as they encounter some rejection, it stops them dead in their tracks.

Did I say most?  How about 98% of people.

This is the same reason why 98% of people that get into internet marketing never make any money.

Hey look in sales you may need to be somewhat polished, know how to overcome objections, close, be empathetic, etc…  (which by the way are all learned skills, and aren’t talents)

But online or direct marketing?  Your customer doesn’t even see you in most cases.  Everyone’s got the same tools and opportunities as everyone else.

And the people that rake in the big bucks in marketing are still faced with defeats and setbacks, BUT it’s how they view them, feel about them, and respond to them that makes the difference.

I heard one big marketer say that 7 or 8 product ideas that he has never work out, but 2 or 3 become mega hits.  And in his words, it’s usually number 8, 9, and 10, not the first 3 that are winners.

But you see most people stop after the first 1 or 2 and say it doesn’t work (whatever it is they’re doing)  The reality is that it’s not that it doesn’t work, but they don’t really believe they can do it, so they stop.

Actually most people don’t even get started, because the thought of defeat and failure overwhelms them.

The 2 biggest fears that people have, and the 2 main reasons why people don’t get into business, or even try after they buy the courses and the books and go to seminars is this:

1.    Fear of Failure
2.    Fear of Rejection

It’s like we as humans go through some kind of weird programming that creates those 2 fears within us and they rob us of the amazing life and the great experiences we could have.

So how do you cope with them.

It first begins with understanding that we do not fail, but we simply learn and grow.

You first have to be bad before you can be good and before you can be great.

You first have to crawl, before you can walk, and you have to walk before you can run.

Once you get that embedded into your mind and look at EVERYTHING in life with these steps in mind, you change your perception which changes how you handle failure and adversity.

There are 4 stages to mastering anything.

First you are unconsciously incompetent.

You don’t know that you don’t know.  If you haven’t tried something, you would even know that you’re incompetent in that area.

Then you start getting exposure to a subject or an area, and you become aware of the fact that you don’t know.

Which is the 2nd stage, you’re are now consciously incompetent.

You now know that you don’t know.

So you start reading and learning and consciously applying what you’ve learned.

You stumble but you move forward, and with every small victory you acknowledge yourself, feel better about yourself, and gain confidence that you can get great.

You’re now in the 3rd stage, which is consciously competent.

You’re good, and you know it, but you still need to put conscious effort behind your thoughts and actions, and with practice you get to the 4th and the final stage.

You’re now unconsciously competent.  It’s who you are, you no longer need to think about it anymore, it is automatic.

Think about anything you’ve learned in the past and see how these 4 stages apply to that.

Once you get this and develop a strong belief that you can and will go through these 4 stages in anything you set your mind to, success truly does become automatic and failure is not even a part of your thought process anymore.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 at 8:40 am and is filed under Personal Development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.